28.05.2013 dizzy :'(

I thought a lot today. When I was alone, just now.. And suddenly I was.. Afraid. I felt lonely. And thought of.. "Xxxxx" which meaning that a person left this world, forever. I admit that I really thought a lot, because I'm afraid about it. Afraid of.. I don't know how to say it in words. I'm really afraid. I don't know why I have this kind of thought in my brain. And it makes me cry.

When I was young, I did think about after people ... Where would they go? Will they suffer a lot? I'm afraid of pain. LOL. 

I know I'm just thinking too much, but I don't know why suddenly I have this thought.. TT and due to that, now I'm feeling dizzy an uneasy.

I'm just 18 years old now, and my dreams have not come true yet. I have not got to work, have not have a chance to buy some goodies to my parents with my own money instead, I'm using their money. :/ I have not got a chance to fall in love yet. Lots of things that I have not do in my life. 

So, I should appreciate my life now! Start to work on something that is more meaningful! -Dizzy-... Need to study hard so that I can get a better job in the future, then I can get better life for my parents and they do not need to work any more since I can take care of them in the future. 

-dizzy............- :(